Feydakin?

[saxon75]

Hey John, I noticed that you have a couple of groups with nobody in them called "Feydakin" and "Sayyadina." What are they for? Unless it's top secret, in which case never mind. But if it is top secret, what kind of procedures do we have to go through to get clearance for that classification?

[GreNME]

They are user groups with elevated privileges. However, no one has needed them, and the one person who could have used them is already an administrator.

They may prove useful at a later date, but for now, they are sitting unused until I find a use for them.

Money might help you get the positions, but I guarantee nothing.

[celia60]

Starting threads declaring your undying love for the dictator will not help.

But I'll keep trying anyway. :D

[Slash the Berzerker]

I miss my Harkonnen group. :(

[GreNME]

Damn, Slash, I forgot about that. I'll work on that tonight, when I get home.

[Zalmoxis]

Am I the only one who sometimes feel like he/she is a ghola?

I think I read too much Kafka in my twenties.

[Slash the Berzerker]

Sweet.

The Baron is back!

Quake in fear, sissies.

[BecomingCaleb]

Dear Baron Harkonnen,

Have you ever tried the Atkins diet? I'm not sure how it would work cutting off carbs during a spice regimen, but man, you oughta be trying *something*, don't you think?

Yours Truly,

Harkonnen Advisor to the Baron, Captain Murphy Judy Tenuda

[Slash the Berzerker]

Newbies are very fattening.

*leaves advisor in the desert to be eaten by worms*

But thanks for the diet advice.

[Kama]

*shakes head*

You people actually believe that those who are left on the desert get eaten by worms? You have a lot to learn.

[BecomingCaleb]

Dear Baron Harkonnen,

I must say, the trip to the desert was unexpected. The Worms really are as big as they say they are. Very frightening. I managed to escape with some Fremen help, though not without having lost my left buttock to the monstrosity. They are surgically reattaching it as I compose this message on my new mind-link PDA.

I assume you've fired the pilot that took off in the royal skimmer without first making sure that all the passengers had come back on board. Try not to be too harsh on him, it was really MY fault for wandering so far off into the desert by myself. On the up side I found a rare desert flower whose nectar makes an excellent facial cleanser. I'll be taking it to the lab later to see if we could maybe fight back against some of those nasty spice-zits that are taking over your face. Seriously, if you want to give Atkins a chance I can have a nutritionist at the palace at a moment's notice. I'm your right-hand man.

Wait, you're right-handed. I'm your left-hand man.

See you back at the palace,

Harkonnen Advisor Captain Murphy Judy Tenuda

[BecomingCaleb]

Dearest Baron,

There must have been some mistake.

Apparently someone ordered the palace guards to ambush my incoming speeder. I'm gonna chalk this one up to being my fault, because as your advisor I obviously failed to warn you about communication failures within the local military command structure.

Consider yourself advised.

The three poor fellows who saved my life in the desert are now dead, having nobly sacrificed themselves for my sake. The stitches on my ass are starting to feel like untied shoe laces and when the royal guard threw me into this cell I think I might have stubbed my toe badly enough that some of the bones down there are no longer attached. I can't really look and see because I'm face down on the floor and unable to move until the stun wears off in a few hours.

But I must say that this MindLink PDA is the *shit*. I can catatonically compose messages directly to the Baron himself. And it has a range over one hundred and fifty meters so I can still use it even though they took away all my possessions and threw me in here totally naked.

I feel like an Iraqi POW, for Christ's sake.

Anyway, I have no doubt that all this will get straightened out in the morning. I only hope that those bastards in the palace guard haven't damaged that desert bloom, because--and I mean this from a PR perspective--we really need all the help we can get with your... complexion. Please see to it that I can get to the lab in the morning.

Oh yeah, and what did your wife think about the whole Atkins idea?

Yours truly,

<confined>Harkonnen Advisor Captain Murphy Judy Tenuda</confined>