Hopelessly confused about women

[Nick]

Okay, as some of you guys know, from my "Women are EVIL!" thread at Hatrack, my former girlfriend dumped me. She said she didn't have any passion for me, but says it might come back. :rolleyes:

She says that she loves me with "everything she is" still though. She says she still wants to marry me someday.

She also started dating somebody she met at school. She called me last night to talk. She was upset. I asked her what was wrong. UPDATED: She didn't sleep with him, but he did want to. The only thing that restrained her was what was left of here loyalty to me.

Is it wrong of me to feel betrayed? Is it wrong for me to think that I have been totally wronged? I was going to marry this woman, and she dumps me at first for no apparent reason, and then sleeps with him. And then she calls ME for moral support! :angry: :wacko:

She had nobody else to call that she could talk to. I'm still here "best friend." I had dated her for three years, and she thought I could just take something like that in stride?

I asked her if she left me for him, and had she been interested in him while her and I were still dating. She said no, she didn't leave me for him, but he was part of the reason for the break-up.
:angry:

Am I wrong to feel this way?

[GreNME]

I would advise you to do something that doesn't make much sense and would be very hard to do: cut your losses and stop talking to her. Tell her that you are doing so, and you're doing it because you do not exist to give her the best of both worlds—a nice, secure relationship (even as a friend) while simultaneously "exploring" other people and things.

If you care for her, let her go make her own mistakes without dragging you through the mud and pain of watching her do it.

[m. bowles]

That chick has issues. Let her eat silence.

[Rakeesh]

John and Matt are right, and no, I don't blame you for feeling angry and betrayed. Anyone who does is selling something.

J4

[kwsni]

Girls, unfortunately, are Petty and Stupid.

Ni!

[Anna]

Aka-aka-pa-tang !

[katharina]

John's right. Cherry picking among guys for their best parts will lead to the illusion that she can have it both ways. She'll survive without you, and that's what she's chosen. Continuing to be her moral support while she's exploring means the situation will never change. Dating sucks, but you don't really know that if you're doing it with a permanent backup. </experience>

[Hobbes]

((((((((Nick))))))))

I don't know about complete silience, but at least show her she can't rely on you like she used to. She moved on and you have too, if she wants help and you're going to the gym, or your not really able to give help (or whatever) then she can wait until you work out or look somewhere else for assitance. Or you could cut her off, which wouldn't be unwarrented at all.

Hobbes :)

[celia60]

John is so right.

[Nick]

You guys are awesome, thanks for the advice.

While I'm still hurt, and I don't know if I want to start dating yet, the most beautiful girl (a friend from years ago) came up and started talking to me. She is interested. Should I pursue?

I'm hurt, but at the same time I'm quite smitten. :unsure:

[GreNME]

Take it slow. Take her out on a date, get to know her, but let her know you got off a long relationship and can't commit to another long-term relationship too soon. Don't go looking for love just yet, because even if you don't mean to, you'll try to look for something to directly replace what you had. Keep it real and honest with the new girl, and you should be fine.

See what happens.

[Nick]

I'll do that. That makes sense. Thanks. :)

[Anna]

(((Nick)))

[Icarus]

John is spot-on.

[GreNME]

This is one of those cases where I learned from my failures.

[Icarus]

I was just lucky. I wanted to be there for support, but it just hurt me too much. Looking at what you have to say about it, I can see that it was for the best.

[Frisco]

The questions and answers to womens' behaviors are much like the question and answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything.

They cannot exist simultaneously, else life as we know it will end in a fiery implosion.

If you do what comes naturally, you'll be happy.

If you do the opposite, they'll be.

Your best bet is to take a stab in the dark and find the middle ground.

[Noemon]

Sounds like we've had similar failures John. I was going to tell Nick exactly what you told him.